A Vortex Surfer Night

(Fritz Corner, Stockholm, 25 March 1998)

I've just watched a concert with a Norwegian band named Motorpsycho. I'm exhausted but also so filled with love! The love for perfect music. I look around and see faces with empty eyes and wonder how something so blank can be so filled with surprise and happiness at the same time? Someone meets my eyes and right this minute, right now, I feel exactly the same as this unknown glance. We look away, towards the stage, a deserted stage. We want more! "You cant leave us now!" We want more!! And so we get it. The band is back. Every eye is gazing towards them, and every tongue is silent; waiting. "Is it possible to make us feel the same way once again?!" It is. A monotonous melody touches us and we close our eyes. A voice filled with angst breaks our hearts. "And she said so..." How can this nothingness make us feel the way we do? We just float away. The melody goes on and on, until we know it by heart. We feel the music. We are the music. The music feels us. But then, just when we think we know, there's a little tiny change, a perfect change, perfect timing, and it makes us wanna go "YESSS!" It teases us. It plays with us, tickles us, eats us, knows us; expresses what we can't. It's alive in us, and we live within it. It's magic. Then, BANG! - a punch in solar plexus - suddenly everything EXPLODES! "AAAAHHHH" It makes us wanna cry or scream or even hit something! It's an orgasm which is almost too strong to cope with. We are in love! For this must be love? Suddenly everything is silent. I look around at those eyes one more time. Some of them are wet. Some of them smile when they meet mine. An I, I'm ready to die. If I was to die, this would be the perfect moment.


my motorpsychodelic man      
left me for a job in town     
now i am here all by myself    
i wear his sweater when i'm down 


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