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I MOVED INTO A NEW HOUSE about 24 months ago and I told all my friends that the first thing I was going to do was to build a rockstage in the backyard. Oh man, I went on and on about it. About how sick it was going to be and about all the songs I was going to play on it. I really talked that shit up. And here it is almost a year later and I haven’t even gotten as far as buying a bag of nails. But every time I run into one of my friends it’s always the same question. “Hey Mark, how’s your stage coming along?” Here’s how I’ve been handling that shit lately:
“My Buddy B. HASN’T BUILT MY STAGE YET.” When I was first talking about building my stage, my buddy B. said that he would help. And he totally knows how to build stages and I don’t. So I guess I figured at some point he’d just come over and build a stage for me. This is probably the lamest excuse I have and I don’t really like using it because it makes me feel like a total man woman.
I HAVE THIS OTHER EXCUSE where I sort of ramble on and on about how much it’s going to cost to put a top layer on it that can endure the Dutch weather. This excuse usually just elicits a blank stares followed by, “You’re never going to build a ramp, are you Mark?” from whomever i’m talking to.
SOMETIMES I JUST SAY that the stage actually is done but that I’m not letting anybody rock it until after the new Motorpsycho demo at the opening ceremony which coincides with the opening ceremony of the Olympic Winter in February of 2014.
(Actually I’ve never really said that shit. But I guess this article would probably be funnier if I just made stuff up instead of typing what I really say. Because in my life is just as boring as yours. I just make up crap to sound like I’m more interesting than a normal dude.)
YEAH, SO SOMETIMES when my friends ask me if my stage is done, I just say, “What? A stage, dude? Are you serious? Dude, I totally quit GOING PSYCHONAUT to get serious about my Dungeons & Dragons career. I’m a fucking level 12 dwarf thief now, dude. Get over it.”
OR LIKE, I say, “Shit dude, why would I build a stage when they just built that new stage in Norway? I’m just going to start PSYCHONAUTING there, man. Because like, it’s really big. Have you heard about how big it is? Because dude, it’s big. I mean, have you seen the photos?” I’d probably go on like this for about four or five minutes. Because you know, like, how big it is. Seriously. It’s big.
I COULD ALSO be all like, “Huh? Oh my stage? Yeah, I’m gonna get it going pretty soon. It’s just that this whole Manmower/wheel and Britney Spears thing has really got my attention right now. I mean, the bitch looks like she should be working behind the counter of a Dairy Queen these days. You know?” And then my friends would probably look at me and just kind of shake their heads in disappointment and walk away. Forever
OR SHIT, I could be all like, “Dude, rock stage? Are you serious? That was so last week. I’m saving up now to build a soccer-stadium double stage. You know I’m filming for my music video now, right? I mean, you saw my space coat, right?”
OR I COULD BE LIKE, “Oh, you didn’t hear? I’m a SUPERSTOOGE now. Yeah, totally into SUPERSTOOGING. I mean, I still have to work out all the details with my parents setting up a Dress for Less clothing store and all that. But besides that I’m totally a SUPERSTOOGE.”
(Aw man, I’m sorry. There’s probably some SUPERSTOOGES who are reading this, huh? Shit dudes I’m sorry. It’s just that since nobody’s going PSYCHONAUT anymore it’s hard to find dudes to be mean to. Nothing wrong with some fresh tracks in the sick pow pow I suppose. Wait, do y’all still have to wear those dirty diaper pants?)
MAN, I GUESS this article is probably long enough now. Maybe I should add one more excuse though just to be safe. OK, like when my friends ask me how my stage is coming along I totally say, “Stage? No, I said I was gonna build a ranch. Like for Shetland ponies and shit.” Man, that excuse sucked. I should have quit while I was ahead.
Ellos,
V.W today!!! A nice job.Playing victim for first aid pratice at the SkiilsMaster event this year in Ahoy wich is near my house wich is the place to be this 13th of march when ACDC hits my hometown.But forget about that…listen to this!!!
It’s all crystal clear for me now but does the deal goes on without S.T.G???? Sometimes i just wander what you guys would think about this B.E “lovely” S.T.G situation.We allready saw what happend to the 2 witnesses and Mamower/wheel is like i said ….finished.Same for Mountain/walking j.Now who is responsable for paying his debts.I feel angry, she let me down twice with this ” i already got a boyfriend” and “no, the job does not allow me to stay in contact with you” and i lost all my feelings for her.Passive or active i don’t feel much more then anger these days.
I hope you got that.
Sand keeps raining down, according to plan b, right?Now to be completely honest about the “for free” situation down here.We are buying time right, if not the deal’s off!!! Now what is said dude here more to do about evernine? I don’t get it.Waiting does not feel like it is enough as well as for breaking the layers of ice and i’m all passive/vacant blue about it, this is not in my hands anymore wich actually gives me enough space to take a breath.Patience seems to be the key here.
What about joseph cambell? Hero with the 1000 faces?
he’s kinda been my guide into the depths of myths and storys about heroism.
I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU I get kind of bored reading articles about all of these new laws that are popping up all over the forum. Reading about all their rules and laws and talks and shit. It’s not that I don’t want to check them out. It’s just that I already know what I’d do if I wrote them. I’d talked for about an hour and exhaust my bag of five rules and then I’d get bored and I’d go drink beer in the banned section until my friends were ready to leave. I’m not trying to sound jaded or anything like that. I mean, I truly enjoy all aspects of what I just described. But it got me thinking: I probably spend more time in the OT section than I do inside the actual forum. So shit, if you’re anything like me then maybe you’ll enjoy these articles. And if you’re not, well, then I guess you’re probably under 30. Ain’t shit wrong with that either.
SO MY PLAN WAS TO WRITE AN ARTICLE about old music videos that I had in my collection. I thought I d grab a six pack, disconnect the DVD hook up the VCR and kick back and watch a bunch of old videos back to back (many of which I lost the covers for years ago). It seemed like it would be pretty fun.
California Girls
This was the first video I threw in. It’s only a few minutes long, so I thought it would be a good one to get the night started. This video was as good as I remembered. A large amount of girls that most rock stars never had at the time. And they sing pretty cool which was a rarity when this video was made.
Fleetwood mac -Say you love me
Is Fleetwood mac still making videos? I don’t think I’ve seen one in years. If they are still making records, do they still start out with that piano? This one did. And there were rad dudes like Peter Green and Mick Fleetwood in that hawai slide guitar intro thing. The evening was off to a great start. About 20-minutes later I was bored. I had a hard time giving a shit about the early ’70s European concert series set to the poor sound quality. About 25-minutes later I turned off the TV. So I guess I made it a half an hour into my article idea before I threw in the towel.
Steely Dan- Do it Again
I thought about coming up with a new idea for an article, but my deadline was the following day so I thought I should stick to my original idea rather than trying to brainstorm something new. Most of these videos I haven’t seen since they came out. Like this Steely Dan video. All I can remember about it is a dude named Walter Becker that could play really fucking cool org. When I played the org at the time, I could not play shit. That’s probably why I remember that dude’s video out of all of the other videos. Because he reminded me of me. And I’m like, totally into me right now.
Kiss- Sure Know Something
Truthfully I can’t really remember a damn thing about this video. But I remember that when it came out I totally tried to dress like these dudes. It was kind of hard to find cool music video clothes in Holland though. So I’d end up buying factory second shit from Ross Dress For Less in the Big and Tall section and totally trying to get my Kiss -look on. And I remember this was around the same time that everybody was trying to dye their hair blonde. I know I tried. But my shit turned out all yellow like a Ken doll. Damn. I’m glad I don’t have many photos from those years.
Madonna-Like a Vrigin tour 1985
You’ve probably never heard of this video, right? It’s a video she made with a friend in 1985. It’s pretty much just her being bitchy. It’s a mediocre video, but I thought I’d include it since I look for any opportunity to promote myself. I do that because I’m a shallow self-obsessed person. I’m OK with that though. At least I’m not walking around with my own name tattood on my bottom.
Wacko Jacko-Thriller
Wacko Jacko made a seriously awesome music video in the ’80s (Thriller ). If you where there during that time you know it was completely the shit. This video was made in 1982 and as far as I can remember it pretty much the shit. It’s just the shit. But if you can sit through about an hlaf hour of creepy jacko you’ll get to see all the zombies and stuff. My guess is that if Wacko Jacko had just focused in on those dudes they could have made a video that rivaled Thriller. And speaking of which, who the fuck stole my copy?
Status Quo- Whatever you want
All I can say about this video is that anytime I see a photo of one of those huge rock stages in USA I picture myself rocking that stage and flying all over the place and getting super radical and just being totally bad ass. When in actuality, if I went to USA and rock one of those huge rock stages all I’d do would be to run around and scream in the microphone and be scared to the max. But from what I remember about this video, all of these Status Quo dudes are the guys who really would step up to one of those stage and rock it a new. And if you ask me, that’s kind of cooler than being a giant vagina like myself.
Morning everyone.Summerfeel is kickin in here,must be the start of spring that’s freaking with my hormones.Sometimes i just wonder…am i really that good? Then again, loads of others tell me to go here and there and back and foward.I had like a writers block for about ten years, no inspiration, no drive, nothing to say at all, just being tired all day but all of that has changed by now.Same as for being a yerk, playing a fool.If you cut ties to make a difference don’t aspect a change within few days.It might take longer then you expect to find something new at least that is what i’ve learned.But i dont care being alone as long loneliness doesn’t stike me.And i don’t find comfort in games, booze, drugs, girls, etc….strange huh? Maybe i am just not that type of rockstar…..yet…lol.
How to: Be the perfect fool: Space-jamming has never been easier, thanks to OT’s complete step-by-step. Follow my lead and you’ll be spaced space-jamming your way to PSYCHOANUT stardom in no time.
STEP 1
Put on the filthiest pair of jeans you can find. If possible borrow a pair from a homeless guy. The more holes the better. Rub some dog on them if they have no visible stains. If the outline of your balls is not visible, then keep looking for a smaller pair.
STEP 2
Find a concert shirt that would have been printed when you were in kindergarten. You can probably find one for about 100 dollars on eBay. If this is out of your budget then just get a white T-shirt and write “Heavy Metal on it with a Sharpie. Add some lightning bolts for extra bad-assness.
STEP 3
Get some crazy shoes. Red ones are good. So are pink and black ones. And of course checkerboard never goes out of style. If you’re having trouble finding an ironic pair of shoes then just buy a can of spray-paint and go wild. Anything neon should pretty much do the trick.
STEP 4
Strap on some leather and metal. Whatever you’ve got. Spikes, rivets, belts, bracelets. When you’re done you should pretty much look like Debbie Gibson before she went and became Deborah. Remember, the more of this shit you wear, the easier that jam is going to be
STEP 5
Throw a bandana in the mix. Wherever. Hanging out of your pocket, tied around your wrist. This one is completely up to you.
STEP 6
Grow your hair out, dye it black, and put a bunch of shit in it. The look we’re going for here is the permanent shower look. If those greasy locks aren’t dripping on your guitar then apply more hair shit. And make sure to occasionally cover your eyes with your hair so that you can push it out of the way nonchalantly.Seeming to be coolly unconcerned or indifferent.
STEP 7
Go Fully Freakin’out on that space jam.Come on.You can do it.
Ok, another 2 hours of studying with a great relief to find the answer of mu question why the real name was left out of the book.It had everything to do with fear of the holiness wich seemed as a logical explanation at that time but seems irrelevant now.Went straight to M.B.F/Big S./N.L.Y.O and For a bro.I wish i could do some “Harvest”/ “Out on the weekend” with Geb, you know do some banjo/mandoline and stuff maybe some mouth harp.But mainly just the regular plugg-in basic kind of headbanging.Maiden’s Fear of the dark rules.Not much happening on the corners here but some blablabla..hahahaha…blablabla.Extremelly Sorry should be comming soon, expectations are high due to Fully Flared.Phanerothyme’s blooming do i’d rather spend my time doing more important stuff, should be ready within 10 days wich gives me enough space to make choices,i hope so ‘cuase the cold did some damage to the trees, but it should be allright somehow.I had some cool crop last summer, it was a sell-out because i’d rather kick the habit but what is one to do with All This Loneliness??? I know, i have to start somewhere but i am buying my time with it, cut my pride too.Lucky me for not being an alice in chains like that.Who’s foolin’ who? I prefer being sober but in doubt i pull out the novocaine wich bothers me asking myself why i would not go trough the whole pain.Sometimes i am just lost in it too.Does it feel any different when it makes sense? Anyway,i’m full on energy right now like a pig who just stole a truck full of Red Bull.Wishing i could see Fran Beck/Nathan “Armour-chief”/Sue once more ’cause they are really cool people who helped me out a lot of times when needed.Don’t forget Louisse…she makes awesome art.All of them.England country sights rules the world!!!!
Now that was one lovely sunday!!!!! I feel totally up to do the job and it is getting stronger day by day.It’s somehow close to the ACDC/Maiden kind of feel do i feel going psychonaut is all about keeping the head clear and cool.Disfractured my sholder twice with skating, playing heavy guitars like Gibson Les Paul is out the the question.It’ll have to be ultralight guitars like fender or something.I did a long and devoted study yesterday with these long “you know with who” conversations, i love it!!!!! But there is more in life then just The Right Words, there’s the right way to do things to and only real winners know how to lose.About the BERGEN fans i would like to say that one situation could lead to another wich turns out to be the best you’ll ever seen…i promise you all!!!! It takes a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll…..believe me……i know.
“What we got going on here is more the just a dream……it is an reality that is there for everyone to see”
B.E “lovely” S.T.G forever
