The virus, which is currently terrifying humanity and causing the consumption of toilet paper to increase exponentially, indeed harbors a danger that cannot be trivialized. However, independent, serious musicologists can easily prove that the earworm, which the government describes as completely new, has been around for decades. What seems strange to the masses and extremely scary is in truth just a slightly mutated cover version of an old song.
However, bass traces were found that suggest that a formation that also caused earworm viruses, or at least one of its members, could be involved.
The independent musicologists – unlike the experts appointed by the government – classify â€œDianeâ€ as (relatively) harmless. However, they advise people who are prone to violence or who have pre-existing psychological illnesses, not to take the texts too literally under any circumstances.